The transition back into regular life has been surprisingly seamless. Modern life is so filled with enticing distractions, though not always noted as unhealthy, some I think are stifling at the very least. I will confess that I give into these things. Simplest life was achieved on the road, though not real life as it is, not as I normally live it anyway. Normal life was probably the most distilled when I lived in my friends' basement for the month while homeless living out my days at the DOT before moving to Oregon. It was modern life, but on an air mattress with a box full of clothes, a bike and a computer - simple modern "necessities". Never did I miss TV, stuff, video games, etc. I had friends, a world outside, food, beer...a job, sadly (two at the time, one that layered my bed thickly with green, the other bolstering my soul). I've lately lost the knack of examining my life. Perhaps some are lucky enough to get it right without having to ponder, but being the needless reflector and wannabe philosopher, I can't help it, also the fact that I refuse to add ADD meds to my morning repertoire. However, lately I come up dry. I just don't feel any deep emotional flow that comes when I want to write about my trivialities. I hoped that I would gain some growth from this trip, but stoicism wasn't it. Although, there is some sort of appeal about distancing myself with worrying about why and simply accepting fate, but losing attachment to that meek, worrisome inner self is curious, cause I know he's still in there. What's he up to?
Meanwhile, back at the Halls of Justice!
One or all of the above. Still have not written a word about my little vision quest, which ended over a month ago now. Hardly remember it. I recall the details, but the fact that it happened is a fog. Something that at the time seemed so pivotal to me, something that deserves devoted thought I've glossed over because I think what I needed I got out there. Normally I try to glean something from nothing as is my day to day, but that thing that I did encompassed something more personal, and I got branded with it before I got home. I still will write something as not to lose this memory, but it may not come straight away.
